I ran across this article about a woman who, after adopting a boy from Russia, decides that his behaviour is unmanageable and chooses to send him back to Siberia.
I find the fact that she chose to 'return' the boy, who had become her son, awful - mostly because of the attitude it represents. I have never adopted, and I have no doubt that adoption is a difficult transition - especially in families that already have biological children. This woman claimed that the adopted son was violent - and I can only assume that she became worried about the safety of her biological son.
This is another situation I have never been in - what would you do if one of your children is threatening the safety of another one of your children? Certainly not send them to Siberia, although I am aware of a number of children who have been 'sent' into foster care or boarding schools by their own parents when they felt unable to handle them anymore. I've always found this to be sad, but the general mentality isn't as rare (I don't think) as the media portrayal on this story makes it seem.
My opinion is that - yes, it is absolutely wrong of this woman to have sent a boy who was her son back to Russia, but - the outlook and attitude of any parent planning to adopt another child should be that their adopted child will become just as much a part of their family as any biological child would be. I personally believe that this same mentality should apply to step parents also - if you are joining together a family with children of two different parents, each parent should decide that the step children are now just as much their children as their biological children are.
When my parents got married, I was 8 and my step brother was 4. My Mom has told me repeatedly over the years that she married my Dad - but she also chose me. She said that if she wasn't ready to accept me as her daughter, she would have had no business marrying my Dad - and I agree.
Like I said before, I have never adopted, and I also don't have step-children so my opinion here is maybe not overly relevant. And I do understand that it could be difficult - especially in situations like this, to not 'favour' your own child - but I think that this is much like any major life decision - if you go into it with a certain goal in mind, you can choose to see things a certain way and behave accordingly.
Would this woman have sent her own unrully child on a plan to Siberia when she felt at a loss to handle him? I doubt it, but I think that is the relevant question here.
What are your thoughts and opinions on this?
This post is about my childhood pet, 'Sassy'. Check out my Babies and Pets post HERE.
When I was a child, my Dad and I had a number of cats. The earliest I remember was an old black and white female named 'Abe' (I have no idea who named her), and I remember that when she got old and started routinely peeing everywhere BUT in her litter box, Dad gave her away to someone who lived on a farm. At least that's what he told me...
After this, my Dad took me to the SPCA and let me pick out a kitten. He promised me that this time - I could keep her until she died. She was a silver tabby, and I loved her to death. My Dad named her 'Sassy'.
I think that because I was an only child with no mother, I formed attachments to things in my life extremely as if to compensate - and this cat was my best friend and my sister all rolled into one. She got older, and fatter, and pretty much hated everyone except me - but she was always my 'baby'.
When I became a teenager, after my Dad had gotten married and we had accumulated a couple more cats, my Dad decided he was absolutely fed up with having them. After months of threatening, my parents packed up both of the cats we had at the time, and dropped them off at a nearby acreage. I was heartbroken, but within a week, both cats were back on our doorstep! They had walked the few miles home.
For awhile I thought they were safe, and that my parents had given up on the idea of getting rid of them, but a few months later we were driving them away again - this time to a home in a nearby city. The new family was also instructed to keep them indoors for awhile to make sure they didn't try to come back.
I remember dropping my Sassy off at this house, and how she looked around and tried desperately to crawl back onto my lap as if she knew what was going on. I cried the entire drive home, and for years afterward whenever I thought of her. I think that after a few years of realizing that I may never forgive my Dad for making me let her go, he eventually felt bad about having given her away, although he never told me that in so many words.
When I became an adult, I actually tried calling veterinarians in the city to see if I could track her down. This is when I learned that the security surrounding pets is actually stricter than the security surrounding people in hospitals. There was no way to find out if she was still alive, or where she was. She would have been 20 by now, so it's likely she died a long time ago.
I managed to talk my husband into getting a kitten when we had been married about a year.
My China is now about 5 years old, and although she is not a replacement for my Sassy, I love her to bits also!
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