Yep, that's a Blackberry...

"Yeah? Whatta ya want?"

"Whatever..."

She'll make such a good teenager someday.  She isn't even walking and she already knows how to storm into her room and slam the door...

I'm linking up today with 'Growing Up Geeky' and 'ELF: A Family Blog' for Toddle Along Tuesdays.  Clara is currently sleeping, so these are all older pictures of her nursery, some as we were setting it up...

We painted the nursery this green, after choosing a colour that could compliment either pink or blue after the baby was born, since we didn't learn the sex beforehand.  I found these stick-on decals at Zellers for something like $10, and thought they were simple but cute.  Clara has fun pointing at them now, also...

Her messy bookshelf with all of my Little House, Narnia, LOTR and Harry Potter books still on it... :)  The top and bottom middle squares were left 'empty' until after Clara was born - they now have pink baskets in them that are the same as the two green ones on the sides. 

The blue hanging thing was from IKEA - it is now so full of stuffies that it has fallen from the ceiling from the weight and has had to be reinforced.  I painted the wall hangings - they weren't as nice as I'd hoped, but I guess they turned out ok.  You can see the pink baskets in the bookshelf from here.  We got this crib from Walmart for $150 or something like that - it was actually nearly identical to a $450 crib from Sears, and honestly just as stable...

This room is just under 8 feet wide by about 11 feet long, and in less than a year we get to figure out how to fit two children in here! Wish us luck!

It's been awhile since I wrote an update on my hair-care regimen, so here it is...

Since January 2, I have been using a mixture of baking soda and water to wash my hair instead of regular shampoo.

In all, my hair is a bit more difficult to manage than it used to be - I have to be quite thorough when rinsing my hair of the baking soda rinse, or my hair will have a bit of a greasy-feeling film on it, and my hair is a bit more difficult to run a brush through than it was when I used conventional conditioners.

It has also been commented to me that may hair seems more 'dull' in colour than it used to, and others have described this look as being more 'natural'.  This makes sense, since the more damaged your hair is by chemicals, the shinier it will be - just take a look at anyone who spends a lot of time in a chlorinated swimming pool. 

My hair seems thicker than it used to, and looks better in less 'perfect' hairstyles, like 'messy' ponytails, than it used to.  I can also go at least two days between washing my hair, while in the past my hair became noticeably greasy after only one day.  It also takes quite a bit off my monthly grocery bill, which is really just all win. 

So, for the foreseeable future, I will continue washing my hair with baking soda.  Even though my husband thinks it's weird.

We have almost exclusively cloth-diapered with Celia, and although I admit it is a lot more work than using disposables, there has been almost nothing that has dissuaded me from using them.  Until Celia's rash started. 

Warning: Graphic details ahead...

Five or six months ago, she got a rash in her diaper area that looked almost like bed-sores to me.  Blisters came out of nowhere and created craters of puss and occasionally blood that no amount of diaper rash cream could alleviate. The odd thing about the rash was that it didn't begin as a red spot or area, and these 'craters' were pretty much completely surrounded in normal skin - not what I expected a rash to look like at all.  I tried every rash cream I could find until I finally took her to the doctor where they prescribed her both oral and topical antibiotics.

I should mention that I'm sort of averse to antibiotics, and doctors who prescribe them, due to my own experience with them.   Many doctors claim that the 'only way' to get rid of a bacterial infection is to use antibiotics, when I have found more success with natural remedies...

Anyway, I had tried all of the natural remedies I knew of for Celia - like throwing tea bags in her bath water, which helped but didn't remove the rash, so I was certainly willing to go ahead with the antibiotics.

I had a friend tell me about her own experience with rashes on her children, and explained that one of her kids developed rashes while wearing cloth diapers, and the other only developed rashes while wearing disposable diapers.  So I also started using disposables on her for night, and occasionally otherwise to see if that helped.

Either the antibiotics or the disposable diapers worked, gradually, and after about two weeks of using them, the rash was completely gone. 

Less than two months later, the rash had returned.  I don't want to switch to disposable diapers, but I've bought another small package to use for a few days to see if the rash will go away.  There is a severe lack of cloth-diaper detergent in our area, and a few of my regular online providers are too often out of stock - suggestions, anyone?

I'm thinking at this point that as soon as Celia starts walking, I'm going to start potty training... enough of this!

It's not as gross as it sounds, really...

I had blocked out this particular gem of a pregnancy symptom since the last time I was pregnant, but it's back full-force now, so it's forced back into my reality.

Placenta Brain.  It is a disorder of the brain that occurs during pregnancy in which a woman's regular thought processes are disrupted and she is unable to function in quite the same capacity as before she became pregnant.  The symptoms are mild, and can be confused with average flightiness, or ditsy-ness, and in some women it may be almost indiscernible.

Last night we got home late from our Announcement Tour, and I dressed my daughter for bed and took her into the bathroom to brush her teeth.  I put toothpaste on her little brush, and had just put the brush in her mouth when I noticed the shocked look on her face and realized that I hadn't used her 'toddler friendly' toothpaste - I had used our 'grown-up' toothpaste.  She fussed a bit, and I tried to get her to drink a bit of water (how do you get a 14 month old to spit???) but this was completely out of her usual routine so she didn't really want to drink.  Then I used her brush with water to re-brush her teeth and then used her own toothpaste to assure her that her routine was in fact, not being threatened. 

I felt awful. 

I have never done that.

It didn't help that when I looked online for what the risks of a baby ingesting a small amount of toothpaste was, I came across a number of forum posts that said 'Call Emergency!' or 'Call Poison Control!!!'.  She hadn't had THAT much.  Probably about a pin-head sized spot of it.

She's fine today, so any fears I had can be put to rest. 

I still can't figure out what I was thinking...

This morning my Mom called to ask if I  wanted to hang out with them for the day since she is off work this week and they were wandering around the city.  I'm always seriously desperate for any excuse to get out of the house, so of course I wanted to go, but I didn't trust my ability to keep our news a secret for a whole day.

My first thought was to take advantage of the day out with my parents (and their vehicle) and see if I could find an excuse to have them take me to the only place in the city I knew of that sells 'Big Sister' shirts.  With my Dad's illness, being 'out and about' is a pretty significant exertion for him, so driving around any extra was a big thing to ask. 

When I discovered what their plan was for the day, and that stopping at a certain shopping mall was on the agenda, I tried to think of a what the mall offered that might serve my purposes.  Recalling that I know a girl who owns one of the stores in the mall and that the store was just the type that might actually sell custom t-shirts, I quickly gave her a call...

Hurrah! She had what I needed, and could make a custom onesie for me before I arrived at the mall with my parents later that day.  So, I had to describe it over the phone, and I went with the Chinese characters 'Jie Jie' (Big Sister), and pretty much had to leave the rest up to her. 

I told my parents I had to pick something up for a friend.

Luckily, they didn't ask any questions.

When we got back to their house after our trip to the mall, I went to change Celia's diaper and changed her into the new 'Big Sister' onesie.  I had to quickly admit to my parents that I was lying about who the onesie was for, which was an easy segue into what the characters said. 

My Mom is very aware of how nervous I have been about having another child, and so she looked as though she almost had tears in her eyes when she said 'Really?'

My husband met us for supper at my parents house, and we spent the rest of the day informing all of our family members, including a number of texts, phone calls, and skype conversations.  The 'Cat' is now officially out of the bag...

I've been calling around the planet today... ok, just my city, which is actually quite small, but it seemed like a lot of calling... and it seems to be IMPOSSIBLE to find shirts that say 'Big Sister' or 'I'm a Big Sister' or 'I'm Going to Be a Big Sister' or anything like that - particularly in a size smaller than 4!!! I know a lot of people with less than 4 years between their children, and by the time this baby is born, Celia will be nearly 2 - that's not all that uncommon, is it?

Anyway, there is one store in the city that sells what I'm looking for, but the shirts are $30, and we really don't have a lot of money right now, so it's hard to justify spending $30 on a t-shirt...

So I looked online, and absolutely fell in LOVE with the t-shirt above, with the Chinese writing.  For those of you who don't know, Chinese is close to my heart - I know a bit of the language myself, and have visited the country.  And it's even CHEAP!  Unfortunately, the smallest size is XS, which means sizes 4-6.... grrrr

When I was pregnant with Celia, I don't think I lasted a full week before telling our entire families about the news.  It was convenient that Easter weekend was that weekend, so we had an easy place to let people know.

As if pregnancy at that stage didn't really 'count', I had one aunt consistently ask me afterward if I was 'really' pregnant.  She pretty much wasn't convinced until I went to the doctor and received an ultrasound photo to prove there was a baby.  It may be that she was considering the first trimester 'danger zone', and thought it would be an easier conversation to pretend I wasn't really pregnant than to ask if the baby had died? That's just a guess.

Anyway, I considered this time waiting until Easter again (which I still might do, I'm not entirely certain) since it falls a full month later in the pregnancy than it did the last time, and the baby will be much further along - hopefully avoiding any weird questions. 

Then it crossed my mind: "What IF this baby dies before then?" (I had a really early miscarriage in September, and I know - it was technically not yet a pregnancy, but for a few days I 'knew' I was going to have a baby, so losing it really was devastating for a time), and if I don't tell anyone now, there will be no one to really talk to about it then.

I think I've decided that I'm the kind of person who would prefer not to keep the secret - I deal with things through talking, and talking makes everything easier for me.  It would be nice to wait, to hold the secret longer, but I think in the end it would be easier for me if people knew.

It's early yet, but I'm so excited!  We've decided to wait a little while before announcing this one to our friends and family - none of whom (I believe) read my blog.  If you do happen to know me personally - please don't say anything!

The line is there - even my husband can see it, this time!

This week (hopefully) I will find out whether or not the latest round of clomid has been successful. 

I have one more month's worth of pills to take if this one hasn't succeeded, but since that will be my 'last chance' for what may be quite awhile - I think you have to wait a number of months before going on a second stretch of clomid - I will feel significantly disheartened if this round has not worked.

I have been feeling exceptionally tired, although I felt similar last month, and I've even had a few belly pains that felt quite a bit like muscle aches a few inches below my belly button.  The one symptom I'm waiting for, however, is nausea in the morning, and so far that one has eluded me. 

I've been thinking about what to do if this round of clomid fails, and I still feel quite uncertain.  I have always wanted to adopt, and I still do, but I have always felt drawn to international adoption as opposed to local adoption, and the costs can be astronomical which is just not an option for us right now.

I may be completely incorrect, but my views on international adoption are based on the fact that to adopt from Canada there is up to a seven or eight year waiting list.  This gives me the impression that there are no children available for adoption here who are unwanted.  So, my thought is that if I adopt internationally, I am choosing a child who may not have a home otherwise.  Is this logical? I am starting to question my knowledge on these things as I investigate the numbers of children adopted from various countries - they are quite small, which makes me wonder if there is less interest in international adoption than I thought, or are there less children available than I perceived?

Anyway, besides any of that, my husband is not so interested in adoption that he is willing to say 'damn the cost' and go ahead with it.  I would probably consider selling our house if it meant we could have another child, so we don't exactly feel the same way about it.  I certainly agree that it would be stupid to enter into any financial struggles unless we were both completely in support of going ahead, which means we should probably not go that route until we are pretty sure the money will work out.

That being said, the preliminary costs associated with adoption are the same regardless of where you adopt from, and are relatively small.  A large part of me would like to go ahead with the preliminary stuff and see what happens, but I run the risk of suddenly having the option to adopt and feeling pressure to come up with money if it happens to be international...

Being an only child until I was eight, and then having a 4-year-old step-brother who I never became very close to has always made me speculate that a sibling - particularly a sister - who was closer to my age would have solved some of my child-hood loneliness issues.  Maybe I'm wrong, but it has become important to me to give my daughter a sibling who is as close to her in age as possible.  And I honestly feel at this point that 3 years is too much.  I worry that if this round of clomid fails, it will be too late to start the next one for me, and I feel now as though I would rather just adopt, and try to find a child within 2 years of my daughters age. 

I promised my husband I would leave it alone until I'm sure about this round of clomid. 

And... Who knows? Maybe I'm already pregnant...